Catch My Breath
by Selina K
Summary: The loss of her powers proves devastating for Karina. Overcome by pain and guilt, she leaves Sternbild, desperate to forget what's happened to her. Three years later, she finds herself back in the city, trying to live a normal, non-powered life. One that may include a familiar face from her past.
1. Prologue

_Sternbild, NC 1980._

Her communicator started going off just as the photographer had finished moving her elbow an inch to the right, the exact position he need her to be in for this next series of photos. Karina was about to ask for a short break when her manager, standing off to the side of the set, pulled his phone away from his ear and called out, "Don't answer it!"

The sultry look that she'd been maintaining for past five minutes fell apart, replaced by a frown that elicited a low sound of dismay from the highly-excitable man circling around her. Titan was usually permissive with her schedule; earning points was prioritized above everything else, including these magazine photoshoots. "Why shouldn't I?" she demanded, dropping the pose altogether and sending the photographer into a near faint.

"I already told Agnes that you wouldn't be available this afternoon," Robert replied with a lazy wave of his hand. "The magazine goes to the printers tomorrow morning. Which means that we need to wrap up this shoot today." He signaled to the photographer to continue and made to return to his phone call, essentially dismissing her. Karina was tempted to step down from the small dais and argue with him, but one look at the agitated man hopping nervously from one foot to another diffused her irritation. Robert was right. Probably best to get this done and over with, instead of having to reschedule for another day. Resigned, she assumed her previous pose, taking care to place her elbow exactly where the photographer had wanted it, and made a mental note to be more cooperative.

Minutes later the familiar clang interrupted the shoot again. This time Karina didn't hesitate to pick up the call, ignoring the shout of outrage from her manager and the faint whimpers from the photographer.

"Yes?"

"Why didn't you pick up the first time?" Agnes' face filled the screen. She looked even more harried than usual.

"I—"

"Never mind that. There's a fire at a warehouse over by the East Bronze docks. Get your pretty butt there pronto. Traffic's backed up all the way to Silver Stage so I recommend that you take your bike and not worry about the speed limit."

"Yes ma—"

The signal cut out before she could even finish replying. Karina practically flew off the dais and rushed out of the room, throwing a "Sorry, it's an emergency!" over her shoulder as a concession to her fuming manager and the poor photographer. At least her transport was waiting outside the studio and she didn't have to detour back to Titan to pick up her ride.

Even with some skillful maneuvering through the busy rush hour streets and a few instances where she had to create her own ramps, it still took her nearly twenty minutes to reach the location Agnes had so helpfully sent to her communicator. Karina pulled up just outside a barrier made up of yellow caution tape and gazed wide-eyed at the chaotic scene before her. Black smoke blotted out the sky, fed by flames rising high enough to lick at the roof of the building. Personnel from the police and fire departments rushed back and forth, dragging equipment all over the place. The sirens from the emergency vehicles, along with the orders being blasted out of megaphones and the roar of the immense fire blended into a cacophony of noise loud enough to drown out her thoughts.

A police officer recognized her instantly and waved her through the barrier. Karina rolled her bike slowly through the crowd and parked it alongside a cruiser. Finding the other Heroes didn't take much effort. Sky High was overhead, hovering over the water and directing the choking smoke away from the burning building, allowing for some much-needed visibility. Another quick sweep revealed Kotetsu, sitting in the back of an ambulance, apparently being treated by a paramedic.

She hurried over to him and was greeted with a weary smile. "Finally made it huh?" Kotetsu was a complete mess, more so than usual: helmet laying by his side, sweat-damp hair plastered to the back of his neck, soot smeared across the white and green paint and sponsor logos on his suit. Seeing him like that gave her pause. She'd expected him to be in the thick of it, bumbling around in his usual manner as he searched for anyone trapped inside. Instead he was outside the building, resting up and far removed from all the action. Which meant that his power had come and gone, and if he'd activated it early, then…

A sense of unease twisted around her gut; this situation seemed so much more serious than what she'd imagined. Still, she took care not to reveal her growing anxiety, especially to him.

"Like I'd let you losers take all the points," she scoffed at him, making a show of rolling her eyes. "Care to give me an update?"

Kotetsu lifted a metal-plated hand and called out to a group of firefighters huddled around a tablet displaying a projected image of what appeared to be a schematic of the building. "Hey! Did we get everyone out?"

One of firefighters broke off from the group and approached them, carrying the tablet. The badge on her uniform read "Torres."

"Almost. We're evacuating the last of the workers trapped on the other side of the warehouse." She swiped a finger across the tablet and spun the schematic around. "We just learned that there are two people still missing. Supposedly last seen in the break room." She tapped on the tablet's surface once more and a small room at the back of the building began to glow red. "It's actually not very far from an entry point. Just need to cross two hallways. But most of our personnel and equipment's on the other side. We're going to have to wait for them to wrap up before we can move our resources here."

The sound of metal gears crunching together conveyed Kotetsu's intention as clear as if he'd said it out loud. The idiot was about to volunteer himself despite the fact that he'd exhausted his Hundred Power and was practically useless.

"I'll get them out," she offered, surprising both herself and Kotetsu. At his astonished look, she said, "This is what Heroes do, right?"

"But your suit's not fireproof—"

"Hello? Ice?" She gestured at herself impatiently. Sometimes Karina wondered if all hits he'd taken to the head over the years were catching up to him. "I've got this, Tiger. Just… Just stay here and don't get in my way."

She spun away from him in a huff. If she had left her hair loose instead of freezing it into place, she would've flipped it over her shoulder. Torres looked visibly relieved as she guided her through the maze of vehicles and personnel. "I'm a little worried about the integrity of the structure," she confessed in a low voice. "I'm not sure if the other team can get here in time. We could really use your help."

"Of course," Karina replied, a confident smile firmly in place. "Anything for the citizens of Sternbild."

Faced with the reality of the situation, that confidence waned just a tiny bit. Thick smoke poured out of the back entrance, making it impossible to see more than a few feet into the hallway. At least the heat wasn't too intense, this far back from the source of the fire, but it wasn't hard to imagine how much hotter it would be the deeper she moved into the warehouse.

She glanced down at herself, a last-minute check of her equipment. Six water canisters, plus the two already loaded into the guns. Usually the number she carried was adequate for most calls, but for situations like this fire, having access to a larger water supply could be helpful, since she wouldn't be able to pull any water from the air inside.

Karina made a mental note to bring it up with the techs once the rescue operation was over.

She turned to the woman standing next to her. "Can you get a hose out here?"

Torres nodded. "Shouldn't be a problem." She glanced over at the smoky entrance. "Not sure what you need it for, though. Can't reach the fire from here."

"I've got an idea," Karina reassured her.

XoX

Kotetsu insisted on carrying the hose alongside her. "Least I could do," he huffed as he braced himself against the powerful rush of water erupting from the outlet.

Karina held her arm out and concentrated. As Kotesu aimed the mouth of the hose down the hallway, she directed the water to expand outward, freezing it until she'd created a crude ice tunnel that cleared the smoke out and allowed her a better view of the interior. She could a faint orange glow at the end of the long hallway, right where she needed to follow the turn into the next one. Well, at least she knew now what was waiting for her.

Behind her, she could hear the metal plates of Kotetsu's suit clanking together as he dropped the hose. "Stay. I don't want to have to save you too." Karina expected him to try and convince her once more to stand down and not endanger herself. To leave the heroics to him and his partner. What came out of his mouth took her by surprise.

"Did Bunny talk to you at all today?"

"Huh?" She looked over at him, thoroughly confused. Did she hear him correctly? Why was he talking about Barnaby, of all people, at this moment?

Kotetsu was rubbing the back of neck, a sheepish expression settling on his face. "Did he...uh...say anything to you?"

"No, I haven't seen him all day," she replied testily. Which was the truth. She'd spent the morning at the recording studio. A lunch meeting with a reporter, the photoshoot in the early afternoon, and now this fire. She'd barely had time to check her messages. "And why would he want to talk to me?"

"Oh it's nothing..." His voice trailed off as he tore his gaze away from hers to settle on a point far over her shoulder.

Again with the evasiveness. Her patience with this unexpected line of questioning evaporated as quickly as the water inside the warehouse. "Tiger—"

Kotetsu held up his hands in an attempt to placate her. "It's not my place to say anything. Don't worry about it. I'm sure he'll find you later."

Karina would've preferred to corner him against the wall and grill him until he coughed up why his partner was looking for her. However, time wasn't on her side. How long her ice tunnel would hold out against the fire was anyone's guess. She turned away, a noise of frustration escaping her, and rushed down the iced-over hallway.

While the entire structure looked fairly solid from the outside, being inside the tunnel was a different story. The thickness of the ice decreased the further she moved into it, not surprising given the limited reach of the hose. Of particular concern were the fine cracks spreading across the glistening surface. Karina took out her freezing guns and reinforced the last section, adding layer upon layer of ice until both canisters were emptied. It still wasn't thick enough for her satisfaction, but she couldn't risk depleting another set of canisters, not until she knew what shape those workers were in. After switching them out for fresh ones, she turned the corner—

And came to an immediate stop when confronted with a hallway that was completely on fire. It took another pair to douse the flames, enough that she could pass through relatively unsinged. Just as Torres had said, the break room was at the end of the hallway, on her left. Karina kicked open the door and was immediately buffeted by a blast of smoke and hot air that brought tears to her eyes and sent her into coughing fits.

When her vision cleared, she discovered the two workers collapsed on the floor, unmoving. Fearing the worst, Karina dropped to her knees beside them. To her immense relief, she was able to locate a pulse for each man, weak though it was. If she could get them to the ambulances waiting outside, they might still pull through.

But how to do just that? Karina sat up and eyed the unconscious men. She certainly wasn't going to carry them; she knew her own limitations. Perhaps if she fashioned a sled of some kind? Taking aim with her gun, Karina carefully laid down a base of ice beneath them, building it up until she'd created a platform a few inches thick. With the men secured to her makeshift sled, she took hold of the handle bar and began to maneuver them out of the room and into the hallway, laying down a thin sheet of ice on the floor so that she could more easily push the sled from behind.

But retracing her path back to the entry point proved harder than she'd thought, and not only because she was lugging an extra 300 pounds. Her ice had not been able to hold back the fire for very long. The hallway was once more engulfed in flames, burning hotter than before. In the intense heat her ice melted much too quickly, reducing her to a slow, crawling pace as she took frequent breaks to either push the flames back or reinforce her sled. By the time she reached what remained of her ice tunnel Karina was down to one canister.

And that wasn't her only problem. The faint, groaning noises that had been echoing throughout the warehouse were only growing louder. Karina feared that the building was completely compromised. That it was on the verge of collapsing. So she grit her teeth and squared her shoulders, gathering the last of her dwindling energy for a mad sprint through the rapidly-disintegrating tunnel.

But before she could even put a foot in front of her, an ominous rumble sounded from above. Karina looked up, just in time to see a huge chunk of twisted metal and concrete break free of the foundation wall and tumble down towards her. She threw herself to the side, twisting her body around to shoot a shaft of ice at the sled to propel it forward and out of the way.

It worked. The concrete block smashed through the ice a heart-stopping second later, partly cutting her off from the sled, which luckily had ended up on the side facing the entrance.

"Blue Rose! Look out!" At the end of the tunnel she spied Kotetsu's figure outlined in the doorway, arms waving about wildly. It looked as if he was getting ready to run in.

Karina glanced down at the gun in her hand. She had just enough water for another one.

"Get ready to catch!" she yelled, not sure if he could hear her above the ever increasing roar of the fire. She took aim and pulled the trigger. Water flowed out of the nozzle, coalescing into a thick shaft of ice that acted like a battering ram, launching the sled across the disintegrating ice tunnel and right into a waiting Kotetsu.

A faint shout of surprise indicated that he had managed to catch her sled. Breathing a sigh of relief, Karina prepared to climb over the broken concrete and skate forward to safety. At that moment the foundation wall gave way completely, no longer able to withstand the fire and support the roof. Burning debris rained down on her, the flames and thick smoke making it impossible to see her way out. Panic dug its claws into her, closing tight around her throat as she fumbled for her gun.

But there was hardly any water left in the canister. And barely enough remained in the air to form a protective shield around her.

She slumped to her knees, shock paralyzing her limbs. Karina was aware, somewhat abstractly, that death was always a possibility. She knew, despite the cheery, positive spin that Hero TV constantly put on their daring feats, that Heroes weren't invincible.

Maybe it was because she was young. Maybe she had trusted in her powers too much.

She had never really considered that she could ever fail.

 _Mom..._

 _Dad…_

Her vision blurred, the tears gathering beneath her lashes drying from the heat before they could even roll down her cheeks.

Another deafening rumble right above her, followed by the shriek of metal snapping.

 _I'm so sorry._


	2. Chapter 1

_Stern Bild, NC 1983_

"The next step is to cool down the solution in an ice bath for twenty minutes," Karina announced, reading off the laboratory manual, a test tube held aloft with a pair of tongs in one hand.

"Do you think a slightly cold bath will be good enough?"

She looked up from the laboratory bench and found her partner studying the interior of a red plastic bucket. Amy met her gaze with a rueful smile and tipped it forward, revealing that the ice that had been contained inside it had completely melted.

"What about the other buckets? Any ice in them?"

Her partner shook her head sadly. "Nope. All gone. I was trying to save us some time by grabbing the ice earlier but…"

"Don't worry about it," Karina said, injecting a little optimism in her voice. "I'll get more ice if you'll pull the rest of the tubes out of the beaker." She placed the one in her hand in the rack and offered the tongs to her partner, lifting the bucket out of her hands in exchange. Though the trip to the icemaker would take only a couple of minutes. she wasn't sure how the delay would affect the results of their lab experiment. On top of that, their instructor, a first-year graduate student not much older than herself who was finicky about following experiments to the letter, seemed to be in a particularly grouchy mood today. She wasn't looking forward to having to repeat the experiment if their results were deemed unsatisfactory.

Her fingers flexed lightly against the container. Before the fire, even the smallest effort on her part was enough to summon ice.

And now?

The twinge in her chest was a familiar companion. It had been three years and the loss of her powers still hurt; she doubted she'd ever be rid of the pain. And though it hadn't been an easy journey, Karina was learning how to live with the empty feeling inside her instead of trying to erase it.

She gave a smile meant to reassure Amy. "It'll be fine. We can still salvage this."

And to her relief they did. Though the color of solutions in the test tubes weren't optimal, they were still within the range of acceptable results. Enough to convince the instructor that they'd completed the experiment successfully. Karina flipped the cover shut with a decisive motion. After a long day of classes she was looking forward to stopping by the café a block from the main campus for a well-deserved latte while she got caught up on her email.

She was so busy with wiping down the lab bench and putting away the equipment that she missed the first part of Amy's question.

"—coming with me, right?"

"I'm…going with you?" she asked, confused. "Where?"

"I just told you! I swear, Karina, you've been spacing out on me lately." Amy grabbed hold of her hand and began to drag her out of the laboratory classroom, barely giving her time to snatch up her messenger bag.

"I was going to get a coffee—"

"I'll buy you one later." Her friend huffed impatiently, an action softened by the grin on her face. "Just hurry up, okay? Or else we'll late."

Karina nearly stumbled over her own feet as she tried to keep up with her. She'd never seen Amy so animated in the short time that she'd known her. She was practically vibrating from the top of her vibrant red hair to the silver Doc Martens on her feet. "Late for what?"

As it turned out, they had just missed a lecture hosted by the sociology department – something on the regulation of NEXT powers – but were just in time, as Amy gleefully pointed out, for Barnaby Brooks Jr.'s meet and greet.

She slowed to a dead stop on the periphery of the large circle of fans surrounding Barnaby, unable to take another step forward. None of the other Heroes knew that she had returned to Stern Bild, save for Pao-Lin and Nathan, and she'd implored them to keep the news to themselves. It wasn't that she begrudged them their powers; she hadn't sunk to that level of pettiness. But the last time she'd seen them had ended so disastrously; she wasn't quite up to facing them yet.

Something of her reluctance must have shown on her face as Amy's excitement faded a little when she glanced over at her. "What's wrong, Karina?" she asked, her voice laced with uncertainty.

What did her therapist used to tell her? That she should welcome these learning experiences instead of running away from them? Resigned to what promised to be an uncomfortable encounter, Karina hastened to convince her friend. "It's nothing." For good measure she pasted a sheepish smile on her face. "I was just hoping it would be Sky High."

Amy immediately brightened, unease forgotten as she maneuvered the two of them to the end of the line. "I didn't know he was your favorite," she said, dragging out the last word and throwing Karina a knowing grin. "We can go to one of his appearances if you like. His schedule should be up on the Hero TV website."

Karina pressed her lips together, struggling to keep her laughter in. Keith was indeed a sweetheart. Even after she'd left Stern Bild he continued to send her hand-written letters that her parents dutifully forwarded to her, undeterred by the lack of response on her part. Still, the idea that she would have any romantic interest in him was absurdly hilarious. "It's okay," she said, shaking her head. "I don't know if I'll have the time. I'm pretty busy these days."

Amy pouted. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Forgot that you're taking an extra class this semester. I don't know how you do it, Karina. Between classes and the gigs…how do you even find time for your songwriting?"

Truth was she hadn't, neither the time nor any inspiration for it. Her music journal held more blank pages than she'd wanted. Just a few half-formed compositions, nothing as polished as what she used to write back then. It was as if all her creativity had been leeched out of her along with her powers. It probably didn't help that she hadn't even so much as touched a keyboard since coming home from the hospital. And when she'd finally sat down in front of a piano she had stumbled over scales that a child could have pulled off with more finesse.

"It's…coming along?" she replied weakly. "Inspiration's hard to come by right now."

Her friend nodded sagely. "Who knows? Maybe meeting Barnaby is the spark that you need to get that creativity going." Amy comically waggled her eyebrows at her, and the ridiculous expression was enough to send laughter bubbling out of her.

"You're insane," Karina managed to choke out, dabbing tears from the corners of her eyes. Amy was a complete riot, a fresh-out-of-high-school kid who had latched on to her on the first day of Principles of Chemistry, asking if she could borrow a pen. She had expected college to be a lonely experience. Not only was she older, but she had no interest in anything outside of her classes. That didn't seem to faze Amy at all. In fact, she seemed to make it her mission in life to invite Karina to all the undergraduate social events, as if she were intent on making sure her new friend squeezed the most out of her college experience.

Her friend's enthusiasm, the way she bounced on her feet every time they inched closer to the front of the line, was quite endearing. Despite the cloud of apprehension hanging over her, she couldn't help but smile. "I didn't know you were such a fan of Hero TV," she commented when Amy emitted another squeal – apparently she caught a glimpse of Barnaby's blond head through the crowd.

"Yeah, well... When you live out in the sticks, where nothing exciting ever happens…" She lifted a shoulder in a lazy shrug. "It was a lot of fun to watch. Especially when they showed the city at night. All those buildings lit up. Like Christmas lights, but like, every day, you know?" She cast her a sidelong glance. "You were probably too cool for it."

Arching an eyebrow, Karina asked, "What do you mean?"

"Well, you're about as old as my brother and he used to tease me every time I turned on the TV to watch the show. Said it was too lame. That only kids watched it. Though I think he paid a little more attention when the cameras focused on Blue Rose," she added with a snicker. In the next second she frowned, a thoughtful look entering her blue eyes. "I wonder what happened to her. One day she was there, and the next, gone. Hero TV wasn't exactly free with the details, you know?"

Karina was saved from replying when the group in front of them shuffled off to the side, revealing the man they'd been waiting in line to see for a good half-hour.

Barnaby didn't seem any different from the last time she'd seen him, though that wasn't a surprise. It had only been three years after all, even if it had seemed longer to her, given all that had happened in that time. He still sported the same shaggy haircut, trimmed a little shorter. His leather jacket was unzipped, making it difficult to miss how nicely his thin black T-shirt clung to his lean, muscled chest. Behind his glasses, sharp green eyes watched them approach, widening slightly as his gaze flickered over to her as she trailed after Amy.

Her friend immediately rushed forward. "You're really here," she gushed excitedly, reaching out to take his hand. "And you're so— I mean— I'm Amy and— Can't believe it's really you—"

"It's nice to meet you too, Amy," Barnaby replied smoothly, his tone practiced but not lacking in genuine warmth. A professional at work. Exactly what one would expect from the King of Heroes. Karina could barely keep from rolling her eyes.

Amy continued to babble, all mental function seemingly scrambled by being in close proximity to the object of her crush. "I'm just— A big fan, Mr. Brooks. Like, so big!" She gripped his hand tightly, as if she would never let it go. "I voted for you in that online poll for most eligible bachelor. So messed up that you only made it to second place," she added, sounding as if she were personally insulted by the results.

"Just Barnaby, please. And thank you for your support. We Heroes truly appreciate it." He flashed her a smile, brilliant and charming. Amy looked as if she were about to faint from sheer happiness. And while her friend would've gladly spent the next five minutes staring rapturously at him, Karina wanted nothing more than to bring the awkwardness to an end as quickly as possible. So she gently bumped Amy with her shoulder, bringing her brain back online.

Amy started. "Oh yeah! Would you mind signing this magazine for me?" She fished inside her backpack and triumphantly pulled out what looked to be a Hero TV special edition from Barnaby's rookie year.

"Of course." He took the neon pink Sharpie she was offering, quickly scrawled his signature across his image on the cover, and handed the magazine back to her. Clutching it to her chest like it was a priceless artifact, Amy turned to Karina and said excitedly, "You should get his autograph too!"

Taken aback by the suggestion, she could only shake her head. "I don't really need—"

"I'd be more than happy to sign anything you want," Barnaby interrupted, that fan-bait smile now directed at her. He wouldn't give away her Hero identity; he wouldn't screw her over like that. But the amusement lurking in his eyes suggested that he wouldn't pass up an opportunity to needle her. Karina was about to refuse again when she felt a sharp tug on the strap of her messenger bag.

"How about this?" She quickly turned her head and found Amy holding out her music journal. Alarmed, she tried to snatch it out of her hands, but was foiled when Barnaby – with his much longer reach — plucked it neatly from her friend's grasp.

He flipped the cover over, skimming through the words and musical phrases she'd written on the page. "You're a songwriter?" he asked with mild interest.

Karina recognized that her irritation at this little charade was somewhat of an overreaction. Still, she couldn't seem to rein it in. He damn well knew that she wrote her own songs. His partner had dragged him to enough of her performances that the information had to have slipped out, given his Kotetsu's tendency to gossip when tipsy. Why Barnaby had been there in the first place was a mystery back then. One she never quite figured out.

Amy was quick to answer for her. "Yeah, and she's got a great voice too!" she enthused. Heat spread up her neck and across her cheeks at her friend's exuberant praise, prompting her to add, "Well it's true! You should hear her sing. She's super amazing."

Barnaby made a small noise of approval as he selected a blank page and began to write. "Maybe I'll get to hear you perform your songs someday. Should I make it out to Rose?"

Amy frowned, eyes clouding over slightly in confusion. "Oh no, her name's Karina."

Barnaby looked up from the page, head tilted to the side, and regarded her with an exaggerated curiosity. "Is that so? You look like a Rose to me." A smirk briefly flickered on his lips, too subtle for anyone else to pick up on.

"It's Karina," she answered through gritted teeth, her patience worn thin. She snatched back her journal when he finished, barely sparing the words he'd written a glance before shoving it back in her bag. Spinning on her heel, she stalked off, not caring that she was coming across as rude. Amy caught up to her seconds later, still in a star-struck daze, dreamily recounting every minute of her encounter with Barnaby as they walked in the direction of the large archway marking the edge of the campus. Just across the street was the café she'd been planning to stop by before this afternoon's little detour.

Karina sighed, a headache beginning to build behind her eyes. This called for something stronger than coffee.

She was going to need a bowl of the tiramisu gelato instead.


End file.
